Let’s Talk – Holding Onto The Past

Hi Friends!

I’m sure it’s not just me but September has always felt like a good month for change. Honestly I feel like this mostly stems from a mix of going back to school and the year coming to a close end.

Personally I love change, I feel like change keeps us on our toes a bit. Adjusting to new things can be thrilling. For someone who has pretty bad anxiety I have never quite understood why I feel this way but c’est la vie!

So why am I talking about change when this is supposed to be about holding on to things?

Here’s the thing, I have this pair of jeans that I have owned for about five years, they no longer fit me and I only really got like 6 months wear of them, but I hold onto them and continue to tell myself that one day I will fit into these jeans again. Let me just say it one more time for the people in the back, I’ve had these jeans for FIVE YEARS. I haven’t fit into them in four and a half years. So why the hell can’t I let go of them.

I had kept the jeans because I was desperate to fit back into them. They were my goal jeans. I wanted nothing more to be back into these jeans.

Recently I was pondering over why I had this need to fit into the jeans, I couldn’t think of anything more then wanting to have a smaller waist size.

Thinking back to when I was in those jeans, I was quite unhealthy. I was skipping meals, under eating and over exercising. Under the impression that this is just what it was to be slim. Learning that’s not okay was a long, hard lesson.

A part of me remembers the girl who wore those jeans but when I look in the mirror she’s a very different person. She was so hurt and craved acceptance not for who she is but for who she thought others wanted her to be. I don’t quite miss her because I love the person I have grown into but she holds a really special place in my heart.

That’s the reason I hold onto those jeans. They remind me of a time where I was presenting myself as someone who appeared to be so sure of who she was, but deep down she knew she wanted something else. We hold onto these items from the past to remind ourselves of who we once were, the past person who helped lead us to the person we have become, or the person we are still changing into.

So with this wonderful month of change coming to a close, I’m encouraging you to find that item, that one thing you have been holding onto, thank it for helping you when you needed. Thank yourself for always being there for you and let’s together throw away what no longer belongs.